Tongues

Brothers and Sisters,

raise your hands to the Lord.

Invite his Holy Spirit to fill your vessel

with his wonderous love.

 

Hallelujah!  Can I get an 'Amen'?

 

Ah-shah-la-la Me-kah-show-nah-teh,

Oh-nah-tah-shah Me-kah-tah-neh

Key-lo-mah-tah-tah-weh.

Speaking in Tounges, they called it.

Most merely stood in the pew

uttering concatenations,

our Old Man among them.

I studied his cadence and learned

to mimic the routine

so as not to be singled out for unbelief.

The grander the display the brighter

the accolades from church elders.

Some danced in the aisles.

Others launched into convulsive fits.

The best of them was Sister Mary Hoagarten,

a lowly widow from East Kansas City

with a silver bird's nest of hair

and bellowing, staccato delivery.

Mary committed to her performance.

She was method,

drawing from a boundless well

of resentment and betrayal

to deliver her weekly self-exorcism.

Mary writhed and howled,

trembled and flailed about,

always ending her number with a flurry

of guttural yawps that climaxed

in an abrupt silence which

centered the congratation

in solumn reflection.

Mary enjoyed a long and storied run

as the High Priestess of Spectacle,

until Lester Hollinger joined the congregation.

Brother Lester was a towering, erudite man,

always in the same charcoal undertaker's suit.

He never missed an opportunity

to promote his biblical memorization.

One Sunday morning,

Lester descended from the foyer

and assisted Mary off the carpet.

He ushered her to her seat,

shuffled to the microphone,

cleared his throat,

and delivered an 

Interpretation of Tongues:

Brothers, Sisters, our Lord and Savior

has revealed to me, his humble servant,
the message within Sister Mary's utterance.

 

Indeed, it is a passage from the Holy Book: 

I Corinthians 14:27-28.

 

'Let her keep silent in the church, 

and let her speak only to herself and to God.'

A thundering chorus of Amens went up

to the heavens.