Thirteen narcissists in a room.
One occupies the head of the table,
gently fondling his first published novel,
Milk Toast,
He produces an assortment of newspapers
and instructs the class
A photo portrays teenagers
I pass the paper.
"Time's up!"
Then it hits me,
**First published in The American Dissident
which the university press declares
"a wry and energetic romp"
"a wry and energetic romp"
chronicling the misadventures
of an associate professor
struggling with success
and an arranged marriage gone awry.
He admires the glossy cover of his book
while the rest of us
struggling with success
and an arranged marriage gone awry.
He admires the glossy cover of his book
while the rest of us
huddle in groups of four
to discuss dialogue construction.
"Good dialogue should sound real,"
to discuss dialogue construction.
"Good dialogue should sound real,"
someone offers.
"It should advance the plot,"
"It should advance the plot,"
says another.
They turn to professor
They turn to professor
who acknowledges approvingly.
"Alright," professor says,
"Alright," professor says,
"here comes a timed exercise
to help you think more creatively."
He produces an assortment of newspapers
and instructs the class
to find story ideas
in the headlines.
"You have six minutes."
I am handed a paper
I am handed a paper
and encounter a piece
chronicling a group of Japanese students
who built a world-record-breaking,
chronicling a group of Japanese students
who built a world-record-breaking,
one-hundred-foot-tall structure
made of Legos.
The Japanese celebrated
made of Legos.
The Japanese celebrated
with a parade of streamers,
fireworks and musicians.
The fireworks grew out of hand,
and the wooden platform
supporting their creation
caught fire.
Attempts to control the blaze failed.
The structure collapsed.
A photo portrays teenagers
standing in horror and weeping.
The headline reads:
The headline reads:
JAPANESE LEGO-TOWER RECORD
DESTROYED BY FIRE
Yet, those students─
months of planning and labor,
their monument
to God knows what
disappearing in flames.
I pass the paper.
Others scribble furiously,
pencils racing.
"Time's up!"
Then it hits me,
in what professor calls
"your divine, creative spark."
I get the hell out of there
and hustle to the Student's Union Bar
before the story
gets away.
**First published in The American Dissident
**Illustration by Morgane Xenos

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